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Even Therapists Need Therapists: Why the Space You Hold for Others Deserves to Be Held for You, Too…
- Amanda Cole
- May 3
- 4 min read
I’ve never found it easy to ask for help.
Not as a child.
Not as a teenager.
Not even now.
I’ve always been the one who holds space, emotion, energy for others...
The one who listens, guides, reassures...
Even before I became a therapist, it was simply who I was...
Quiet. Capable. The place for others to find safety...
(It's within my Human Design)...
But somewhere along the line, I internalised a story:
That strength means going it alone.
That needing support somehow makes you less than - less knowledgeable, less strong, less together...
And that story has run deep.
When the Supporter Needs Support
If you’re a therapist or coach, you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say:
You can know everything there is to know about mindset, healing, transformation…and still hit a point where it all feels heavy.
You can teach boundaries, emotional safety, and self-care…and still find yourself unravelling at 10pm because you forgot to include yourself in that care.
You can hold space for everyone else’s process…and not even realise your own is quietly screaming for attention.
I hit that point recently…
Not in a dramatic, 'throw everything away' kind of way…
But in a slow, invisible tiredness...
The kind that creeps in without you realising and makes you question everything:
What am I doing?
Why does it feel so hard?
Am I even helping anyone anymore?
And the hardest question of all:
Who’s holding me?
The Truth We Don’t Say Out Loud
We tell our clients that healing isn’t linear...
That no one is immune to burnout...
That asking for support is a strength...
But do we believe that for ourselves?...
Because if I’m honest, I didn’t. Not fully.
Even after years of doing this work, part of me still felt like asking for help was admitting defeat - like I’d failed at walking the talk.
Surely, I should’ve 'figured it out by now'?...
But I hadn’t failed.
I’d reached my limit...
Of other people’s stories, silent expectations, and a kind of soul-tiredness that no strategy could shift.
The Day I Let Myself Be Held
Recently, I sought out support from another therapist...
And yes, it was hard at first to be the one in the seat, not having the answers…
To feel what I usually help others process...
But wow…What a shift...
To be seen...
To cry without explanation...
To unravel without fixing...
To have someone reflect back who they saw...
Every session was a mirror...
Every conversation, a realignment...
I spoke truths I didn’t realise I was hiding.
I felt grief, guilt, anger…and underneath it all - relief...
It's been a raw yet liberating experience....
And finally, I didn’t feel alone in it.
Why Therapists Are Especially at Risk
Despite being trained in emotional regulation, resilience, and mental health, therapists are not immune to burnout - or the weight of the emotional loads they carry.
A 2022 UK-wide survey of therapists found that 79% of mental health professionals had experienced burnout at some point in their careers.
In a 2021 BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) report, 57% of therapists reported feeling overwhelmed, with many citing emotional exhaustion, compassion fatigue, and isolation as key drivers.
A 2023 Psychology Today feature stated that 1 in 4 therapists were currently in therapy themselves, and those who weren’t often cited time, cost, or stigma as reasons.
And perhaps most strikingly:
A recent meta-analysis showed that mental health professionals experience emotional exhaustion at rates equal to or higher than other high-stress fields, including frontline healthcare.
So no, it’s not 'just you'...
The mental health field is filled with quietly exhausted healers…
And the cost of not being supported is more than professional - it's deeply personal.
If You’re a Therapist Who’s Feeling…
Tired but unsure why
Frustrated that all your tools aren’t working
Like your confidence has taken a hit
Like your ambition isn’t translating into impact
Like you’re on autopilot or heading for burnout
Please know:
3 Gentle Reminders If You’re a Therapist Needing Support
1. Holding space for others doesn’t mean you should carry everything alone.
Being the strong one doesn’t make you immune to struggle. It just means you’re overdue to be held with the same compassion you give.
2. You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from deep work.
Sometimes the most powerful shifts happen when we’re functioning - but not flourishing. When we’re outwardly fine, but inwardly unravelling.
3. The right support doesn’t fix you - it frees you.
It helps you remember who you are underneath the tiredness, pressure, performance…
And that woman is still in there, waiting to breathe again.
Final Thoughts
If no one has told you lately:
You’re doing sacred work.
You’re allowed to be tired...
And you can have the much needed support - not because you’re struggling, but because you’re worthy of it too.
Here’s a reminder that support isn’t a luxury....
It’s a necessity...
Not just for your clients, but for you.
So if today’s the day you need to be held - emotionally, mentally, spiritually - know that you deserve that too.
If anything from the blog resonated, I'd love to hear from you, send me a message or leave a comment.
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