The Art of Allowing…And Why It Can Feel Hard (Especially as a Therapist/Coach)

A reflection for the space-holders who know something’s still unresolved…

We’re the guides…

The listeners…

The reflectors…

We sit with others in their moments of pain, unearth their patterns, celebrate their breakthroughs with them…

And we’re good at it…

But when it comes to our healing…

Allowing can feel like unfamiliar territory….

Because to truly allow, to let ourselves soften and be supported… 

That requires vulnerability - and for many of us, that’s the edge we resist.

Why ‘Allowing’ Feels Hard (Even When We Know Better)

We know the language of healing.

We remind our clients that holding it all in doesn’t serve them.

That avoiding only delays their peace….

But when it comes to ourselves?

We still carry the conditioning that says:

• If I let go, I’ll fall apart…

• If I open up, I’ll lose control…

• If I need support…then am I even qualified to give it?

Whether we realise it or not, many of us have internalised the belief that we must ‘have it all figured out’ or rather be, invulnerable…

But healing isn’t found in holding it all together…

Healing happens in the allowing.

The Resistance Is Real - and Subconscious

If you’ve ever felt the pull to go deeper in your own work…but found yourself hesitating and pushing it down - you’re not alone.

That resistance often doesn’t come from a lack of willingness…

It’s subconscious beliefs woven through years of life, training, and identity.

• The belief that you must be the responsible, strong one…

• The belief that if you unravel, you’ll lose credibility…

• The belief that you don’t have time to fall apart, because everyone else is depending on you…

These beliefs don’t always speak loudly…

But they shape what we allow ourselves to receive.

The Cost of Not Allowing

When we stay in that role of space-holder, without allowing space for ourselves, it starts to show:

• Quiet resentment toward the work we once loved.

• Fatigue that no amount of rest seems to touch.

• A disconnect from the deeper parts of ourselves.

Not because we’re failing…

But because we’ve reached our limit - of stories, emotions, and unresolved patterns we’ve never given ourselves the permission to unpack.

What Allowing Actually Looks Like

It’s letting yourself be guided…

Letting yourself go deeper than before…

Letting yourself be seen…

Not as the expert, but as the human behind the role…

It’s crying in session because you finally said something out loud you’ve been holding for years…

It’s a reminder that you’re not alone…

And letting someone walk beside you, even when you’d rather be the one leading.

Why I Love Holding Space for Other Therapists, Coaches & Practitioners

Because I know what it’s like to carry it all…

To show up for everyone else while quietly wondering, ‘who’s got me?’...

I know the mental load, emotional weight…the identity tied up in always having the answers…

And I also know the beauty of what happens when someone like you allows themselves to be guided.

It’s not about fixing... 

It’s about who you are underneath all the expectations…

Letting go of what’s been buried…

And allowing what’s been waiting to remerge.

You Don’t Need to Be ‘Ready’ - You Just Need to Be Willing.

The irony is…

Most of us help our clients get comfortable being uncomfortable…

And yet, we resist that same discomfort for ourselves.

I know allowing doesn’t mean a loss of control, it simply brings you home to…

More peace…

More clarity…

More wholeness.

Your clients aren’t the only ones who deserve that…

You do too.

I'd love to hear your thoughts if anything resonated, are you allowing or resisting?

Contact me for a complimentary heart to heart to find out how hypnotherapy and subconscious healing can bring you back to yourself.