This week, having perhaps waited longer than most parents, we told our almost 4 year old he was going to be a big brother (and that it was a girl)...I wasn't quite sure how he'd take it or how I'd feel after telling him. We borrowed a book from a friend called 'There's a House Inside My Mummy' and read it to him a few times in preparation.
Having spent the last four years as a mum of one, we have such a close bond and I'm very aware I don't want to lose out on our time together once baby arrives in the summer. I have been repetitively making this point to my partner in the hope that he will take a larger role in the newborn stage than when our son was born! In which case, I wanted to reassure my little boy that even though life would be different, he'd always be my 'special boy'.
However, when we told him, the first 5 second included excitement, swiftly followed by the next 5 seconds of what seemed like denial and the truth dawning on him! He then changed the subject and carried on playing outside with his dad, as I came into the house and cried. I actually found telling him rather upsetting, like I solely responsible was changing the family dynamic and making him unhappy (mum guilt never ends!)
Luckily, being the super bright boy that he is, he started asking questions to my partner (God knows what he was telling him!) and later, when I was putting him to bed, he asked me many logistical questions, including 'how does baby come out, mummy?' to which I answered it was like having a really long, really big poo. It was the best analogy I could come up with on the spot and to be fair wasn't that far off of the truth!
Now, he is very interested and keeps asking if baby is coming today (hopefully not at 21 weeks!) and I answer any questions as honestly as possible, in exception of 'how did baby get in your tummy?' I thought I would swerve the potential sexual education lesson! Instead we talked about seeds growing (no mention of fertilisation!) We've also watched some short (and less graphic) videos of babies being born including water births and women using hypnobirthing, so he knows what will be happening when I'm in labour and baby is on the way.
I'm sure there will be more and more questions over the next 4 months, but I much prefer that. I enjoy being able to talk to him about it all and him understanding I won't be able to run after him soon! I also fully intend on including him in all organisational activities to get ready for baby's arrival, including going through the copious amounts of old clothes and toys in the loft!
Soon to be mum of two...wow....help!